What Made Me Smile Today?
Opportunities to smile while caregiving tend to be few and far between! Often, we focus most on what is not going well! The decline in our loved one’s status is easy to see. We can quickly list the things that our special person can no longer perform or enjoy. The effects of chronic illness and the decline in status are heartbreaking. Your loved one may experience: not being able to walk, losing bowel and /or bladder control, unable to recognize family members and friends, forgetting important information, no longer enjoys activities, and the list goes on.
Smiling
Changing the focus for the caregiver is not easy; it is a bit like “Is the glass half full or half empty?” Should the caregiver focus on all the challenges and decline in their loved one’s status or focus on moments of joy and levity? Caregiver “survival” is critical if that special person is going to survive, and then thrive, after the caregiving role has been completed. Smiling is a basic cross-functional form of expression a way to connect when words cannot. The act of smiling has health benefits! Smiling improves mood, may ease anxiety and depression by releasing endorphins, lowers blood pressure, boosts the immune system and can reduce pain. People who smile impact those around them in a positive way, it’s contagious. There is a whole body of science relating to the health benefits of smiling.
How To Smile While Caregiving?
Finding a smile or two in the caregiving process is not a reflection on the loved one, rather the situation and the funny things that may be said, the unexpected joke or situationally funny remark. Unintentional antics ease the tension for both the caregiver and loved one, if they are able to appreciate the situation. For some, giving funny names to parts of the day or tasks to be performed can lighten the mood and set the stage for a bit more levity. Respecting the loved one is always the first priority. Hold on to the humorous moments they are sustaining especially when times are trying. My mom couldn’t remember the name of our local grocery store, Harris Teeter’s, so she gave it the name Teeter-Totter, which has stuck with us. It brings a smile to me and my husband whenever we say it.
Action Plan
- Smile as you wake up, greet others with a smile
- Focus on the positive
- Keep a notebook of funny things and wonderful surprises that happened while caregiving. When times are tough, go back and reflect on the happier time
- Find joy in the little things. Focus on something that went well during the day; it could have always been worse!
- Note something that you are thankful for
- Start your morning or end your day by looking at the comics
- Sign up for a “joke of the day”
- Watch a funny movie
- Connect with others, be sure to ask if they had something funny or unusual happen in their day
- Find the energy and perform a small act of kindness for someone else, it will come back in spades
- Be kind to yourself; recognize that you are doing a difficult and stressful job. Eat well, stay hydrated, have a treat now and then, do something nice for yourself, sing a funny song, take a few minutes to listen to music, read or do whatever brings you joy and smiles
