Finding a Caregiver is Like Dating

Coming to the realization that additional caregiving assistance is needed may be obvious to some and very challenging for others to realize.  The need for more caregiving support affirms that the current caregiving plan is not meeting the changing needs of the care recipient. Some view this need for additional assistance as a very difficult and painful realization that they are not able to fulfill all the care needs of the loved one.

How to find a caregiver? Just like dating, ask for a referral from a trusted friend, colleague, spiritual advisor and anyone you come in contact with. Caregivers are typically not free, so be sure you have a realistic budget and recognize that as an individual declines, usually additional caregiving hours are needed. There are “dating services” also known as non-medical homecare agencies and registries to assist in the caregiver identification process. Be sure to ask about the background checks and screening processes used. No matter how you find the “professional” caregiver, they need to be the “right” match for the care recipient and the circle-of-care at the bedside. Whenever possible, speak directly with someone who has hired this individual to gain first-hand insight about them and their abilities.

Try to meet the individual prior to the initial caregiving session if possible. This is the time to determine if the potential caregiver is the “right fit” for the care recipient. What is your “gut” reaction when you meet the individual? Do you have reservations or concerns?  Consider, personality, temperament, willingness for the assignment, physical ability to meet and perform the care needs, availability to provide the hours needed (do they have other individuals for whom they provide care and you will need multiple individuals to cover the hours?) Can the caregiver easily communicate, and able to understand the wishes of the care recipient? Can the care recipient easily follow the instructions of the caregiver? Be sensitive to communication challenges. Are there cultural, ethnic or religious aspects that need to be clarified?  If your loved one has special needs can the caregiver meet them? Does the care recipient have certain preferences, and can the caregiver abide by them?

As with dating, sometimes there is a mismatch, be sure to have an exit strategy with a corresponding back up plan.  Sometimes “blind dates” work, and other times they do not. Be realistic in your expectations, address what is important to you and the care recipient and also take the time to learn about the caregiver, establish guidelines and expectations up front and together to ensure minimal disruptions to the care recipient.

Financial implications associated with hiring a caregiver will be discussed in a future post.

#palliativecare, #palliative, #hpm, #homehealth, #compassion, #eol, #caregiving